I romantically looked at my girlfriend and said to her, "Love is in the air."
Apparently, she didn't agree. "No, that's pollen."
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
His mother had an idea, "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?"
He thought this was a great strategy and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.
"The evening was a disaster," he moaned.
"Why, what happened?" asked his mother.
"Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook."
I said to my neighbor, "You'd better let your shutters down, because yesterday I saw you making love with your wife."
"Haha, you idiot," he replied. "I wasn't even home yesterday."
Two friends, a guy and a girl, were having a chat...
Guy: Do you know I like a girl, but I don't think that she would like me.
Girl: Don't worry, she will like you. I bet you ten dollars that she will definitely like you!
Guy: Okay, then fine, we have a deal. (Pause) Do you like me?
Girl: Nope, you are not my type.
Guy: You owe me ten dollars.