Most men are like bank accounts...
When they don't have a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
Gary the Cactus will never find true love.
Female Cactus: "Gary, you need to quit being selfish. We’re cact-us."
Gary the Cactus: "Actually we’re cact-i."
The pretty lady at the DMV recommended to me that I sign up to be an organ donor....
That's when I realized she was a girl after my own heart!
"I love you" is a mathematical function where, 'I love' is the constant and 'you' is the variable...
And marriage inverts the function, where "you" becomes the constant, "i love" becomes the variable.