misc jokes

“How are you getting on with your football, Jack?”
“Well, Dad, pretty good. The coach said I was one of the team’s greatest drawbacks!”

“Dad, the career counselor said that with a mind like mine I should study criminal law.”
“That is wonderful, son. I’m proud of you.”
“He said I had a criminal mind.”

A recently widow says to her friend, “Oh don’t talk to me about lawyers”
“I’ve had so much trouble settling my late husband’s estate that I sometimes whish he hadn’t died….”

“So, thundered Greg’s furious father, “you have been expelled from college, have you?”
“Yes, Dad. I am a fugitive from a brain gang.”