misc jokes

Q: Under law, what is the maximum penalty for bigamy?
A: Two mothers-in-law.

“May I go swimming, Mommy?”
“No, you may not. There are sharks here.”
“But Daddy’s swimming.”
“He’s insured.”

My bother is a professional boxer.”
“Heavyweight?”
“No, featherweight. He tickles his opponents to death.”

“Hey, you!” yelled the ranger to the small child. “Can’t you read that sign?
No fishing in this river.”
“I’m not fishing,” came the perky reply. “I’m teaching my worm how to swim!”