misc jokes

Two fleas were walking out of a cinema when they discovered it was raining hard.
“Shall we walk?” said one flea.
“No,” said the other, “Let’s take a dog.”

“Look at that speed!” said one hawk to another as the jet fighter plane hurtled over their heads.
“Hmph!” snorted the other. “You would fly fast too if your tail was on fire!”

There was a young woman who was very much interested in marrying this wealthy
Old gentleman.
After he proposed, she suggested, “we might even have some children!”
The old gentleman replied, “Oh, no, my parents won’t let me.”
“What do you mean?” asked the young woman
“Who are your parents?” He replied, “Mother Nature and Father time.”

A very intelligent boy was fortunate enough to be receiving a far better education than his parents had enjoyed, and his vocabulary far outstripped theirs. One day he came home from school and said “Mommy, may I relate to you a narrative?”
“What’s a narrative, Gerald?” she asked.
“A narrative, Mommy, is a tale.”
“Oh, I see,” said his mother nodding, and Gerald told her his story. At bedtime as he was about to go upstairs he said, “Shall I extinguish the light Mommy?”
“What’s extinguish?” she asked.
“Extinguish means to put out, Mommy,” said brainy Gerald
“Oh, I see. Yes, certainly.”
The next day the clergyman came to tea and the family dog began to make a nuisance of himself, as a dog will, by begging for goodies from the table. “Gerald,” said his mother, trying to impress, “take that dog by the narrative and extinguish him!”