misc jokes

An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. "But I think I know where I'm going wrong," said the idiot. "I think I am planting them too deep."

She said to the boutique manager:
"Do you mind if I try on that red dress in the window?"
He said: "Sure - can't be bad for business!"

A man sitting at a bar claiming to be the world's strongest man, squeezed every drop of juice from a lemon. Then said, "Whoever can squeeze another drop from this lemon will be the world's strongest and will have earned $100." Just about every man at the bar tried without luck, then a skinny, wimpy looking guy walks up and squeezes three more drops from the lemon. The strong man asked, "How did you do that?" the little man replied, "I am an IRS agent" as he walked out.

Q. Why did the pig cross the road
A. To prove that he wasn't a chicken