one liner jokes

I feel like I should be on the TV show Undercover Boss.

I just found my wife with the boss!

A lot of people have a bucket list of 50 things they wanna do in there lifetime.

I just have one, and that's to forget the 50 that I did!!!

Last week Walmart was asking $200 for the lamp I wanted, today they wanted $100.

I told them I'd wait until it was worth $200 again!

Neighbor: Why do you allow your wife to drink so much?

Me: Ever seen how she acts sober?