A man has to take on up a sport at the advice of his doctor, so he decides to play tennis. After a couple of weeks his buddy asks him how he's doing.
"It's going fine," the man says, "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me my brain immediately says: To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!"
"Really? What happens then?" his friend asks enthusiastically.
"Then my body says, 'Who? Me? Don't talk nonsense!'"
My favorite baseball team keeps losing games, but they continue to have a T-Shirt Night, Cap Night, Bat Night, etc...
How about something new and exciting this season like a WINNING Night!
Why do grasshoppers not go to many football games?
They prefer cricket matches.
My Dad, who is a pastor, was reading the newspaper the other day and it had an article on our University’s football team who had 3 wins in the last 3 seasons. Then he says, "Hey Son, did I tell you that I ran into head coach two months ago down at the Supermarket?"
"What did you tell him?" I replied.
"Well, I asked if I could pray for him and he said sure."
I couldn't help but ask, "Did you pray that he would quit or that he would be fired?"