Best Jokes

This administration has conclusively discovered how to deal wit the deficit.
It’s a skill, which requires addition and distraction.

Approaching the woman at a single’s bar, the young man said, “Hi cookie. How about a date?”
“Forget it,” she said. “I never go out with a perfect stranger.”
“We are both in luck,” he said. I’m far from perfect.”

Two goats wandered into the junkyard and had a field day. One of them spent a particularly long time bent over a spool of film. When he was finished, the other goat came over.

“So, did you enjoy the film?”

The goat replied, “To tell you the truth, I liked the book better.”

“Doctor,” said the patient, “I need help! I can’t stop acting like a cat!”
“How long have you had this problem?” the doctor asked.
“Lest’s see,” said the patient, “Mom had the litter in ’41…