Best Jokes

After years in the work force, someone finally concluded that an employer is someone who’s late when you’re early and early when you’re late.

A down and out musician was playing his harmonica in the middle of a busy shopping mall. Striding over, a policeman asked, “May I please see your permit?” I don’t have one,” confessed the musician. “In that case, you’ll have to accompany me.”
“Splendid!” exclaimed the musician. “What shall we sing?”

Answering the phone, the priest was surprised to hear the caller introduce herself as an IRS auditor.
“But we do not pay taxes,” the priest said. “It isn’t you, Father, it’s one of your parishioner, Sean McCullough. He indicates on his tax return that he gave a donation of
$15,000 to the church last year. Is this, in fact, the truth?”
The priest smiled broadly. “The check hasn’t arrived yet, but I’m sure I’ll have it when I remind dear Sean.”

This administration has conclusively discovered how to deal wit the deficit.
It’s a skill, which requires addition and distraction.