Best Jokes

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon."

The other drunk stops and looks at his drunken friend, "You are wrong. That's not the moon, that's the sun."

Both started arguing for a while when they came upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him. "Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?"

The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."

A drunken man walked up to a parking meter and puts in some change. The meter goes up to sixty and he says, "Hey, I lost 100 pounds!"

Did you hear about this new movie?
It's about a guy who is terrified of addition problems...
..."The Fear of all Sums"....

(This joke should be understood in the spirit that X'tian marriages in our part of the world are almost always arranged, divorces are rare & socially stigmatic. So spouses are tolerant)
On the day I got married, my uncle gave me his piece of personal wisdom.
He said: In the first year, the wife is obedient. She listens to whatever you say. So enjoy yourself.
In the second year, the role changes & the husband listens to his wife. So it's her time to enjoy.
In the third & succeeding years, there are no more such roles. So the neighbors listen to what you shout at each other. And they enjoy.