Best Jokes

Before the weeding day the groom told the bride: "I want you to be the major of the household to be making the major decisions & I'll just make the general ones" The
The bride, having heard that, happily kissed her husband-to-be"
Overheard their conversation, the groom's friend, pulled him aside & asked: "Are you crazy? How could she be making all the major decisions in the household!" The
Groom, smiling cautiously whispered to him. “She’s the Major but I'm the General. Get it?"

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon."

The other drunk stops and looks at his drunken friend, "You are wrong. That's not the moon, that's the sun."

Both started arguing for a while when they came upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him. "Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?"

The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."

A drunken man walked up to a parking meter and puts in some change. The meter goes up to sixty and he says, "Hey, I lost 100 pounds!"

Did you hear about this new movie?
It's about a guy who is terrified of addition problems...
..."The Fear of all Sums"....