Best Jokes

To celebrate their silver anniversary, a couple went to Niagara Falls and asked a motel clerk for a room. "We only have the honeymoon suite available," she told them.
"My wife and I've been married 25 year," the man said. "We don't need the honeymoon suite."
"Look, buddy," replied the clerk. "I might rent you Yankee Stadium, but you don't have to play baseball in it!"

An American couple visiting in a German village stepped into a small shop to look for souvenirs. The woman sneezed.
"Gesundheit" said the clerk.
"Charles," said the American woman to her husband, "we're in luck. There's somebody here who speaks English."

The villager on his first trip to the city was waiting at a bus stop one morning. After some hesitation he asked a woman. “Which bus should I take to Mahim?”
“Bus Number 177,” the woman replied, and caught the next bus.
The same evening, the woman got off a bus at the same stop and found the villager still waiting. “Didn’t you get the bus to Mahim?” she exclaimed.
“Not yet,” he said wearily. “So far 168 buses have come and gone – eight more before mine arrives."

Heading into the jungle on his first safari, the American visitor was confident he could handle any emergency. He sidled up to the experienced native guide and said smugly. “I know that carrying a torch will keep lions away.” “True,” the guide replied. “But it depends on how fast you carry the torch