Best Jokes

The barn at Larry and Susan's farm burned down, and Susan called the insurance company. 
Susan: "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." 
Agent: "Wait just a minute, Susan... it doesn't work quite like that. We will determine the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." 
Susan, after a pause: "I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."

Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. 
One of the three men says, "I have an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far enough for someone to hear us." 

So he leans over the basket and yells out, "Helllloooooo! Where are we?" (They hear the echo several times). 
15 minutes later, the men in the balloon hear an echoing voice: "Helllloooooo! You're lost!!" 
One of the men says, "That must be a Microsoft service tech!" 
Puzzled, one of the other men asks, "Why do you say that?" 
The man replies: "For three reasons: 
(1) he took a long time to answer, 
(2) he was absolutely correct, and 
(3) his answer was absolutely useless."

Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. 
One of the three men says, "I have an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far enough for someone to hear us." 

So he leans over the basket and yells out, "Helllloooooo! Where are we?" (They hear the echo several times). 
15 minutes later, the men in the balloon hear an echoing voice: "Helllloooooo! You're lost!!" 
One of the men says, "That must be a Microsoft service tech!" 
Puzzled, one of the other men asks, "Why do you say that?" 
The man replies: "For three reasons: 
(1) he took a long time to answer, 
(2) he was absolutely correct, and 
(3) his answer was absolutely useless."

All of a sudden this huge extra-extra strong mint walks into a pub, he sits down and starts boasting about how he's the strongest mint and how he could win any fight, then another mint walks in, the extra-extra strong mint dives under a table! Someone asks him "I thought you where the strongest mint around???" "I know!" he replies, "but he's menthol".