Best Jokes

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There is a new virus going around, called "work." If you receive any sort of "work" at all, whether via email, Internet or simply handed to you by a colleague ... DO NOT OPEN IT.
This has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open "work" or even look at "work" have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly.
If you do encounter "work" via email or are faced with any "work" at all, then to purge the virus, send an email to your boss with the words "I've had enough...
I'm off to the pub." The "work" should automatically be forgotten by your brain. If you receive "work" in paper-document form, simply lift the document and drag the "work" to your garbage can. Put on your hat and coat and skip to the nearest bar with two friends and order three pints of beer (or rum punch). After repeating this action 14 times, you will find that "work" will no longer be of any relevance to you and that "Scooby Doo" was the greatest cartoon ever.
Send this message to everyone in your address book. If you do NOT have anyone in your address book, then I'm afraid the "work" virus has already corrupted your life.

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CATEGORY Work Jokes
posted by "Anonymous" |
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A young Antartian, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes
but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices.
"I'll just catch my own alligator," she told one shopkeeper," so I can get a pair of shoes for free." She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp.
Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the Antartian standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in.
She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up.
"Oh, no!" the Antartian shouted in dismay. "This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Anonymous" |
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A young Antartian, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes
but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices.
"I'll just catch my own alligator," she told one shopkeeper," so I can get a pair of shoes for free." She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp.
Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the Antartian standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in.
She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up.
"Oh, no!" the Antartian shouted in dismay. "This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Anonymous" |
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Three men: one American, one Russian and one Antartian where discussing which country had the best space program. The Russian said, "Well that's easy, guys. It was us as we launched the first man into space and no one can beat that." The American disagreed and stated, "No, mate, the Americans have the best space program, as we walked on the moon first. No one can possibly
beat that." But the Antartian spoke up, "No guys, you're both wrong. The Antartians are going to have the best space program as we are going to put the first man on the sun!" Both the American and Russian where in fits of laughter after hearing this and asked how this was possible without burning up? The Antartian simply replied, "Well, we have this fool proof plan; we're going during the night!"

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Francis Frame" |