Latest Jokes

My teenage patient’s mother was concerned. “He must have a temperature,” she said. “He hasn’t taken our motorcycle out all day.”

“Let me ask you,” I said. “Do you have a thermometer?”

“No,” she said. “A Kawasaki.”

My sister explained to my nephew how his voice would eventually change as he grew up.

Tyler was exuberant at the prospect.

"Cool!" he said. "I hope I get a German accent."

While at the dinosaur exhibit in Disney’s Animal Kingdom park, I overheard a confused woman complaining to her friend.

She said, "How could they possibly know the names of all those dinosaurs if they died 75 million years ago? And another thing, how do we even know they were called dinosaurs?"

The week we got our puppy, I caught a stomach bug and stayed home from work one day. That afternoon, my wife called to check up on me.

"I’m okay," I said. "But guess who pooped in the dining room?"

My wife’s response, "Who?"