Latest Jokes

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution: "You do not want to try these techniques at home!"

"Why not?" asked a man from the audience.

"After years of not paying attention, I suddenly noticed my wife's routine at breakfast," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets; often she carried just a single item at a time. So I asked her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once? It'd be much more efficient.'"

"Well, did your suggestions save much time?" the attendee asked.

"Actually, yes," the efficiency expert responded. "It used to take her twenty minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven."

John was dozing against a tree with his fishing rod in the water. His friend came by and looked at the line. “You don’t have any bait on the hook,” he said.

“It’s too much trouble to clean the fish if I caught one,” replied John.

His friend said, “John, you are the laziest man I know. What you need is a wife and a family.”

John opened his eyes and said, “Do you know where I can find a pregnant woman?”

George Washington was such a great president.

He never blamed any of the country's problems on the previous administration.

Two skeletons were discussing their girlfriends.

"I think Bonnie is cheating on me."

"What makes you think that?"

"I don't know. I just feel it in my bones."