Latest Jokes

Minds are like parachutes.they only work when they're open
Money is like a promise, easier made than kept

Minds are like parachutes.they only work when they're open
Money is like a promise, easier made than kept

Top ten ways that you know you are suffering from "job burnout"

10. You're so tired; you now answer the phone, "Hell."
9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back!!"
8. Your garbage can IS your "In" box.
7. You wake up to discover that your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.
6. You have so much on your mind; you've forgotten how to pee.
5. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday.
4. You don't set your alarm anymore because you know the pager will go off before the alarm does.
3. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your ID badge.
2. Your Day Timer exploded a week ago.
1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now

One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object. "What is that?" Mikey asked.

"It's a thermos," the salesman replied.

"What does it do?" asked Mikey.

"This baby," the salesman said, "keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

After some deliberation Mikey bought one, deciding it would really help his lunch situation. The next day he arrived at the plant where he works. Sure enough, all the other employees were curious about his new object. "What is it?" they asked.

"It's a thermos," Mikey replied.

"What does it do?" they asked.

"Well," Mikey says in a bragging manner, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

"What do ya got in it?"

To which Mikey says, "Three cups of coffee and a popsicle."