Latest Jokes

You Know you are Addicted to the Internet When... 
· You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved, and you don't have a clue when it happened. 
· Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like. 
· All of your friends have an @ in their names. 
· Your dog has its own home page. 
· You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem. 
· You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed. 
· You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse. 
· You get a new suit that says, "This best viewed with Netscape 4.01 or higher." 
· The last girl you asked out was only a jpeg. 
· Your wife says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat. 

A policeman brought four boys before a judge.  "They were causing an awful lot of commotion at the zoo, your Honor," he said.

"Boys," said the judge sternly, "I never like to hear reports of juvenile delinquency. Now I want each of you to tell me your name and what you were doing wrong."

"My name is George," said the first boy, "and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen."

"My name is Pete," said the second boy, "and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen."

"My name is Mike," said the third boy, "and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen."

"My name is Peanuts," said the fourth boy.

Things to do While Downloading A File On Your Computer:

· Buff your mouse pad 
· Make a list of things to download 
· Play a percussive beat on your thighs in time with your modem 
· Count to 500 in "click" language 
· Go outside and actually breathe fresh air (don't overdo!) 
· Do a pushup for every blue bar on the progress meter

Things to do While Downloading A File On Your Computer:

· Buff your mouse pad 
· Make a list of things to download 
· Play a percussive beat on your thighs in time with your modem 
· Count to 500 in "click" language 
· Go outside and actually breathe fresh air (don't overdo!) 
· Do a pushup for every blue bar on the progress meter