When I was younger, my dad found out I had an imaginary girlfriend.

He said, "You know, you could do better."

"Thanks dad, that means a lot," I replied.

He said, "I was talking to your girlfriend."

He didn't like the casserole, and he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard,
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't make the coffee right,
He didn't like my stew,
I didn't fold his pants,
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer, I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked him,
Just like his mother used to do.

Do you know why baby diapers have brand names like Luvs, Huggies and Pampers while undergarments for old people are called Depends?

Well, here is the reason...

When babies soil their pants, people are still going to Luv"em, Hug'em, and Pamper'em.

When old people soil their pants, it Depends on who's in the will!