Marty Profile

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Marty

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 475
# of followers : 16
# of following: 16
eligible jokes to win : 3
Location: United States
won: $ 345.00
$9.00 won 1 votes

A group of extraterrestrials were sent to earth to monitor and/or stop the use of nuclear weapons. The first creature they made contact with was a chimpanzee. Mistakenly they mistook the chimp as being the dominant species of planet earth.

After scanning the chimp one of them looked at the others and said, “This must be a mistake, perhaps we’re on the wrong planet.”

One of the other Aliens said, “You may be right. It’s obvious these beings are far too intelligent to use nuclear power in a destructive way."

1 votes

CATEGORY Scifi Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Marty" |
$7.00 won 2 votes

I lost my job as a spy. I was supposed to stand in a certain location and report if anyone picked up a package left on a park bench.

It began to rain badly and not far from my location I saw a park sign with a small roof over it. I took cover from rain for the worst part, but upon return to my post the package was gone.

Apparently my supervisors didn’t like my report when I reminded them the number one rule for spies is to remain under cover at all times.

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Marty" |
$12.00 won 3 votes

The reason Tinker Bell didn’t have a tail was to make the story more realistic.

After all, no one really believes in fairy tails...

3 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Marty" |
$6.00 won 2 votes

As a way to compensate for their absence, a group of golfing buddies decided to all pitch in twenty bucks and one with the best golf score would take their wife dancing and dinner. The wives liked this idea since it was more than they had before.

Fred's wife was especially wanting him to win and the moment he returned after golfing she excitedly asked, "Are we having a special dinner tonight Fred?"

"Yes we are my dear, how does Peking Duck sound?"

She said, "That sounds great."

Fred replied, "Good, while driving over the pond on the 7th hole, I accidentally hit one. All we need now is the recipe."

2 votes

CATEGORY Golf Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Marty" |