"I have really good eyesight. Even in the dark, I can see things that are far away."
"Really, like what things?"
"Well, the moon and the stars."
Why do clowns hold books they read very close to their faces?
So their noses are well red!
John: Do you know how we can make varnish disappear?
Joseph: No. How can we make it disappear?
John: Just remove the letter "r" and it will vanish!
"Why is your book so old?"
"What do you expect, it's my history book!"