A boxer complains to his doctor about insomnia.
Doc: "Have you tried counting sheep?"
Boxer: "Yes, but whenever I get to 9, I stand up."
Did you know that 97% of the world is dumb?
Luckily I’m in the other 5%!
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were not-E.
How many bones are in a human hand?