computer jokes

Computer novices may feel like they're alone these days, but the following call to IBM's help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway.

After a caller gave a technician her PC's serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, "I see you have an Aptiva" desktop unit.

Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she'd be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded, "Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe."

3 Database Admins walk into a NoSQL/GraphDB meet-up group. A little while later they walk out.

They couldn't find any tables.

Why did the computer programmer call his mother long distance?

Because that was her name.

In a software design meeting, we were using typical technical jargon to discuss a data exchange interface with a vendor.

One co-worker said the programming we had ordered was delayed because the vendor was suffering from a "severe non-linear waterfowl issue."

Curious, the team leader raised his eyebrows and asked, "What exactly is that?"

The programmer replied, "They don't have all their ducks in a row."