marriage jokes

A newlywed is trying to console his little bride, who sprawled, dissolved in tears on the couch. “Darling’” he implored, “Believe me. I never said you were a terrible cook. I merely pointed out that our garbage disposal has developed an ulcer.”

The frugal man walked into the house panting and almost completely exhausted. “What happened, Honey?” asked his wife.

“It’s a great new idea I have,” he gasped. “I ran all the way home behind the bus and saved $1.50 cents.”

“That wasn’t too smart,” replied his wife. “Why didn’t you run behind a taxi and save ten dollars?”

A newly wed couple had just had an argument coming home from the reception. Driving along in silence they pass a farm with all kinds of animals on it. Breaking the silence, the husband asks: "Relatives?" and without missing a beat the wife replies: "Yes, in-laws."

Husband: Why can’t you make bread like my mother?
Wife: I would if you could make dough like your father!