misc jokes

Why did the diet coach send her new client to the paint store?

She knew you could get thinner there!

A visitor once asked, "Does it ever rain in Arizona?"

A rancher quickly answered, "Yes, it does. Do you remember in the Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?"

The visitor replied, "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood."

"Well," the rancher puffed up, "we got about two and a half inches of that."

Outside a second-hand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - Bicycles, Washing Machines, etc... Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain!

Four young ladies are ordering a few rounds of drinks. Each time they get up, they toast and say, "14 weeks!", then they down their drinks.

The bartender finally asks the ladies, "What's the deal?"

One says, "Well, we bought a boxed puzzle. It said 'two to six years,' and we did it in 14 weeks!"