misc jokes
Favorite this joke Patty, the bank teller, was having a bad day with nasty and rude customers. A nicely dressed young man came up to her window and with a smile showed her a note. "Please give me all your money... I thank you for your time and help!"
After emptying her drawer into a bag, she added a chocolate bar left from her lunch.
"What's that for?" he asked.
"That's because you were the most polite person I've had all day," she answered.
The government put out notices for contractors to bid for a small job they needed done. The first bid was for $750.00. The second bid was for $375.00. The third bid was for $2,375.00.
Stunned at the high price of the third bid the government agent called the contractor and asked how his bid could be so high.
"It's easy," the contractor said, "$1,000 is for me, $1,000 is for you for you, and then we hire the guy for $375 to do it."
I went to the library the other day and found a book titled "How to Hug".
Wanting to learn the secrets of intimacy I quickly grabbed the book and headed to the checkout counter.
The librarian was polite but said I couldn't check out the book because it was the seventh volume of Encyclopedia Britannica.
People who take high blood pressure medication are doing the right thing...
They are putting the heart before the hearse!
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