misc jokes

"I shall have to put you fellows in the same room," said the hotel keeper.

"That's all right," the guests replied.

"Well, I think," said the host, "you'll have a comfortable night. It's a featherbed."

At two o'clock in the morning one of the guests awoke his companion.

"Change places with me, Dick," he groaned. "It's my turn to lie on the feather."

A customer sat down at a table in a smart restaurant and tied a napkin around his neck. The scandalized manager called a waiter and instructed him, "Try to make him understand, as tactfully as possible, that that's not done."

Said the thoughtful waiter to the customer: "Pardon me, sir, shave or haircut?"

The more I get to know people...

The more I realize why Noah let only animals on the boat.

Dear Paranoid People who check behind their shower curtains for murderers...

If you do find one, what's your plan?