misc jokes

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?

Halfway.

Me: How was your date last night?

Her: A complete waste of makeup.

While in international waters, a commercial fishing boat was taking on water. The Captain got on the radio, “May Day, May Day!”

In a few moments he heard a crackling response on his radio from another fishing boat, “June Day, June Day.” Then yet another fishing boat responded, “July Day, July Day.”

The First Mate said, “Captain, what do all these responses mean in international code?"

The Captain replied, “It means man the life boats.”

Two friends are talking over lunch in an outdoor patio.

"So what are you doing for summer vacation?" one asks.

The other one replies, " I want to go to Italy again, like last year."

The first asks, "Wow! You went to Italy last year?"

The other answers, "No, but I wanted to."