misc jokes

A guy goes to the doctor, “Do you have something against a persistent hiccup?”

The doctor gives him a huge slap in the face and says, “Yes. Sorry, this is the best treatment.”

The guy holds his cheek and says, “Okay, but it’s actually my wife who’s got the issue!"

You might not know this... but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in... but you can see right through them

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off....it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed...but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object... Because to get them to go anywhere.....you have to light a fire under their arse.

SPONGES: These are female...because they are soft......squeezable and retain water.

A real estate agent was showing a woman through a beautiful room at the top of a large hotel.

"Now in this wing we have the master bedroom, bath, and den."

The woman interrupted suspiciously, "And den what?"

I went to the doctor to see if he can help me to stop smoking .

He suggested that every time I felt like smoking I should reach for a chocolate bar.

It didn't work, because no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get the chocolate bar to light.