On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: "Broken."
A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car's owner rushed out of a nearby building.
"What are you doing?" he yelled after a quick glance at the meter. "There's plenty of time left!"
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
DODGE
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FIAT
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix It Again, Tony!
FORD
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of Research & Development
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. & Ron`s DNA
backwards -> Driver Returns On Foot
They say that an apple a day will keep the doctor away...
Why stop there?
An onion a day will keep everybody away!
Two men were discussing the merits of a book. Finally one of them - himself an author - said to the other, "You can't appreciate it because you never wrote a book yourself."
"No, I have not" the other man retorted, "but then again, I never laid an egg and yet I'm still a better judge of an omelet than any hen."