misc jokes
Favorite this joke On a boat...
Captain (boasting): This boat makes twenty knots an hour!
Passenger: How long does it take the crew to untie them?
It's so cold here...
That the local flasher is running up to people describing himself!
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight. Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.
Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug asked, "Why did you put up such a fight?"
To which the man promptly replied, "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe."
Camping Tips for All...
- Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.
- A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.
- The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Steer clear of those named for landfills.
- When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.
- Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.
- A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
- A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
- In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.
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