A young woman decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her friend next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.
"Buffy," she said, "how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?"
"Ten," said Buffy.
So the girl bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but she had two rolls leftover.
"Buffy," she said, "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got two leftover?"
"Yeah?" said Buffy, "That's funny, so did I!"
A tourist was driving on a back road in Arkansas during a heavy rainstorm. He passed a cabin with a man sitting on the porch playing his fiddle.
"Why don't you go inside on this rainy day?" the tourist asked.
"Because the roof leaks," answered the fiddler.
"Well, then, why don't you fix the roof?"
"Can't fix a roof when it's raining," the fiddler answered.
"So, why don't you fix the roof on a sunny day?"
"'Cause the roof don't leak on sunny days!" replied the fiddler.
While going through his deceased father’s things, a man finds a 25-year-old claim check for a shoe repair.
Curious, he goes to the store and hands the owner the ticket.
The owner goes to the back and then reappears. “Good news,” he begins, “they’ll be ready next Friday.”
Mrs. Smith: My husband's face fell a mile when he first saw the Grand Canyon.
Mrs. Jones: Was he that disappointed?
Mrs. Smith: No, he fell into the canyon.