misc jokes
Favorite this joke A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. "Do you watch much television here?"
"Only the daytime shows," the inmate said. "At night we're locked in our cells and don't see any television."
"That's too bad," the reporter said. "But I do think it's nice that the warden lets you watch it in the daytime."
"What do you mean, nice?" the inmate said. "That's part of the punishment."
While directing a chorus rehearsal one day, the director was waving his arms and singing right along. All of a sudden a big fly flew right into his mouth. Of course, he had to stop directing while he was spitting and sputtering, trying to get rid of it.
When he finally got it out, it landed on the floor, either wounded or dead. Someone from the back of the room yells, "Hey Will, your fly is down!"
I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.
I got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 number on it.
"At 50 cents a call, I've been making $38 a week!"
It's so cold in Alaska that:
... someone stabbed himself with an icicle and died of cold cuts!
... babies are brought by penguins, not by storks!
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