Best Jokes

A cannibal visited the witch doctor with a serious skin rash.
The doctor gave him a small pot of grease to rub on.
He returned next week completely cured. " Wonderful stuff what is it" he said
"My best friend died . I boiled him in a pot for six days then skimmed the grease off" he replied.
" What do you call it?" Said the cannibal.
" Pal o' mine lotion" replied the witch doctor.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom?

Answer: Because the "P" is silent

Timothy :Why are you catching so many fleas?

Mike :Didn't you see the Notice Board?
There's going to be a Flea Market at
our Apartment Lobby tomorrow morning.

Mike, Jack, and Gary go for a hike in the woods. They are out about an hour enjoying the sights when they come around a sharp bend in the trail and spot a bear just in front of them feeding off some vegetation next to the trail. The bear lets out a menacing growl when it notices the hikers. Mike says "jump up and down, make some noise to scare it away". Jack says “that won't work, we need to play dead". They both ask Gary “what do we do?" There is no reply. Turning around they see Gary far down the trail behind them.