Best Jokes

A couple of terrorist were making letter bombs. After they had finished, one said: “Do you think I put enough explosive in this envelope? “I don’t know,” said the other. “Open it and see.” “But it will explode.” “Don’t be stupid! It’s not addressed to you!

Two verbs, three adjectives, three nouns and a conjunction appeared in court. They’re due to be sentenced next week.

A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender pulls out a shotgun and fires a shot, barely missing the man's head. The man gets up, says thank you, and leaves a tip.
Why the tip and thank you; “because the man had the hiccups.”

Little Johnny and a friend were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. “What’s it for?’ his friend asked. “I don’t know,” little Johnny replied. “I think you stand on it and it makes you mad. At least it does that for my Mom and Dad.”