Best Jokes

You know you're a senior citizen when every time you leave your house; you have to go back because of something you forget.

An Old man went to the doctor complaining of a terrible pain in his leg. “I am afraid it’s just old age”, replied the doctor, “there is nothing we can do about it.” “That can’t be” fumed the old man, “you don’t know what you are doing.” “How can you possibly know I am wrong?” countered the doctor. “Well it’s quite obvious,” the old man replied, “my other leg is fine, and it’s the exact same age!”

Two guys were sitting in a double hole outhouse doing their business, when #1 gets through and pulling up his pants, a quarter falls out of his pocket and falls into the depths of the hole. As they both peer down the hole, #1 pulls out his wallet and throws a 20 dollar into the hole. "What did you do that for?" inquires #2.
#1 replies "You don't think I'm going to climb down there for a lousy quarter, do you"

What tool does Count Dracula use when he repairs his car?
A Vamplier