Best Jokes

Delighted to learn that his new wallpaper was washable, the moron was furious when the very first time he washed it, it was snatched from the clothesline.

Going to the travel agent’s office, the moron said, “I’d like a round-trip ticket, please.”
“Where to?” the agent asked.
“Why, back here, naturally.”

Examining his new will, the old man said to his attorney, “I guess this makes my son and I sort of like football players.”
“How’s that?” the lawyer asked.
“Well, until I kick off, he doesn’t receive.”

When he was finished with the bulk of the changes, Mr. Smith added yet one more stipulation to his will: that he be buried at sea.
He explained, “that’s just in case my wife makes good on her threat t dance on my grave.”