Best Jokes

Two little skunks called In and Out were playing in the woods. Out went home, and his mother said, “Where’s In? Go and get him, there’s a good boy.” So Out went back into
the woods and returned very shortly with his bother.
“That’s a good boy,” said Mother Skunk, “how did you find him so quickly?”
“Easy,” said the little skunk, “In stunk…”

"Doctor! Doctor! Everyone’s ignoring me!"
"Next please!"

At a party an elderly lady was bemoaning the behavior of the youth of today.
“Look at the girl over there,” she complained. “I don’t know what young girls are coming to! She’s wearing boy’s jeans, a boy’s shirt, and that haircut is so boyish – you wouldn’t know she was a girl at all, would you?”
“Well, as it happens, I would,” came the reply, “because she is my daughter.”
“Oh dear,” said the old lady embarrassed, “I’m so sorry – I didn’t know you were her father.”
“I’m not, I’m her mother.”

"Simon, if I had eight apples in my right hand and ten apples in my left hand, what would I have?”

“Huge hands, sir.”