Best Jokes

During training exercises, the Lieutenant driving down a
muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud
with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.

"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the Lieutenant as he pulled
alongside.

"Nope," replied the Colonel, coming over and handing him
the keys, "Yours is."

A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table, the wife asked “Anything new at work”, and he replied", no, I am teaching History".

Q. What’s the difference between a man and a government bond?
A. Bonds mature.

This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little S's painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"