Best Jokes

There's a sadist and a masochist locked in a room. The sadist is starting to freak out and says please, please hit me. The masochist just smiles and says “no.”

Christopher Columbus was the first ever-successful politician of the world because he didn’t know where he was going, he didn’t know where he was when he got there, and he did all of it only on borrowed money!

Q. Why does a chicken coup only have two doors?
A. If it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.

Erica is walking out of a movie theater at the same time as a man with a parrot on his shoulder. Erica turns to the man and says, "Your parrot actually seemed to understand the movie. It looked around during the boring parts, it paid close attention to the dramatic parts, it even squawked during the funny parts. I don't understand how that can be?"

The man turns to Erica and says, "I don't understand it either, he didn't like the book at all."