A man walked up to a school and said "can you teach me to read and write"
The administrator said, "Yes we can"! Just fill out this form."
Boy: Did you eat Lucky Charms this morning?
Girl: No, why?
Boy: Cause you're looking magically delicious!
A man was sitting at an interview, in his new suit, looking his very best.
As he put his hands down to make a point, he and his interviewer noticed the price tag was still attached to the sleeve.
"Well," the man said, "at least I can take the suit back if I don't get the job."
There once was an old man who was about to die. He told his wife to put a bag of money in the attic "When I die I'll get it on my way up." chuckled the old man. Well when the old man died the wife went up to the attic and found that the bag of money was still there. "I knew I should have put that money in the cellar!" said the old woman.