Best Jokes

What goes up and never comes down?
Your age

1 egg takes 5 minutes to boil. How long does 10 eggs take to boil?
The same 5 minutes.

How many times does a tailor have to cut 100 yards of cloth to get 100 equal pieces?
99 times. You don’t cut the last piece, it is already there

What side of the teacup is the handle on?
I really don't know the answer

Which is heavier? 1 pound of hay or 1pound of metal. Which is heavier?
They both weigh a pound

Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. A peck of pickled peppers, Peter piper picked. If Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peckers, how many peckers did Peter piper picked? How many Ps are there in THAT?
None...H...A...T.....there are NO P's in the word THAT

What has 100 eyes and cannot see?
A potato

Two Indians standing on a bridge. One is the father of the other ones son. What is the relation between the two Indians?
Mother and Father

What has NO legs and CAN run?
Water

One day a string was walking down the street. He was really thirsty and decided to get a drink at a nearby bar. So he walks up to the bar tender and says, "I'd like a beer, please." The bartender looks at him like he's crazy and says, "I can't serve you, you're a string. Go on. Get out of here." So the string goes outside and thinks of a way to look more like a person. He knots himself toward the top and frays the string to look like a head with hair. He goes back inside and tries again. The bartender says suspiciously, "Hey, aren't you the string that was just in here a few minutes ago?" The string replies, "I'm afraid not!"
(I'm a frayed knot

Knock-Knock
Who's there?
Alex
Alex who?
Alex plain later!

There are only two rings in marriage, “the wedding ring" and "the suffering