Best Jokes

Guy: Is you dad still in jail?

Girl: For what?

Guy: For stealing all the stars in the sky and putting them in your eyes!

Chris had just turned 16 had long hair, and look like Joe Dirt. He went to his dad and asked: "Dad it is my 16th birthday! I would like you to by me a car for my birthday.” So his dad replied, "Son, I will buy you any car that you want as long as you raise your grades AND cut your hair." Chris said ok. The next week, Chris brought home a report card he had raised all his grades from c's and d's to all a's. His father was very happy! Now Chris was so excited he told his dad what car he wanted a, convertible mustang (red). His dad said, "Chris you haven't cut your hair." Chris replied, "Well Jesus had long hair." His dad said, "yeah, and Jesus walked everywhere he went!"

Q: How do men exercise at the beach?
A: Every time they see a bikini they suck their belly in

A cop pulls a young guy over:
"Hello officer" said the smart aleck kid.
"Young man did you see that stop sign?" asked the cop.
Yup, but I didn't see you!