Best Jokes

A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read: “Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man.”
“How about that!” he exclaimed. “They’ve got three people buried in one grave.”

Overheard at the track: “Horse racing is very romantic. The horse hugs the rail, the jockey puts his arms around the horse, and you kiss your money good-by.”

The reading material at the barbershop consisted entirely of murder stores, mysteries, thrillers, and ghost tales.
When Peter asked the barber if he wanted to terrify his customers he replied.
“No Peter. These books make the customers’ hair stand up and then it becomes
easier to trim and cut.”

A tail gunner was being court-martialed. “What did you hear in your headset?” demanded a superior officer.
“Well,” replied the airman. “I heard my squadron leader holler, ‘Enemy planes at 5 o’clock!”
“What action did you take?’ persisted another officer.
“Why, sir,” replied the gunner, “I just sat back and waited. It was only 4:30.”