Best Jokes

Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. “I’m sorry,” said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks.”
“But I could be dead by then!”
“No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment.”

Psychiatrist to patient: "You have nothing to worry about - anyone who can pay my bill is certainly not a failure."

An older man met an acquaintance and asked how his wife was: then, suddenly remembering that she had died, he blurted out, “Still in the same cemetery?”

Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job. “
Why did the foreman fire you?” the friend asked in surprise.
“Oh,” Peter said, “you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in their pockets watching everybody else work.”
“We all know that,” replied his friend. “But why did he let you go?”
“Jealousy,” answered Pete. “All the other workers thought I was the foreman.”