Best Jokes

Returning home from work, an Antartian was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the woman ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

Once there was an Antartian that was down on his luck. In order to get some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. 
He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him "I've kidnapped you." 
The Antartian wrote a note saying "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the city playground. Signed, An Antartian." 
The Antartian then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. 
The next morning the Antartian checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath that pecan tree. The Antartian opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note. The note said, "How could one Antartian do this to another Antartian?!" 

Once there was an Antartian that was down on his luck. In order to get some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. 
He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him "I've kidnapped you." 
The Antartian wrote a note saying "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the city playground. Signed, An Antartian." 
The Antartian then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. 
The next morning the Antartian checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath that pecan tree. The Antartian opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note. The note said, "How could one Antartian do this to another Antartian?!" 

One day there was this man that stopped at a house because it was night, so he rang the doorbell. A lady answered, but she was all pink! So she said, "come on in", so he did. There were pink steps, pink wallpaper, pink toilets, pink everything. Later that night, another man came to the door, because it was dark and everything she let him in. Now he saw everything was pink. Finally, a third man came to the door, and again, since it was dark outside she let him in. Now he saw that everything was pink. The next morning, she woke the three men up and invited them to breakfast. So she had 2 kinds of cereal. Corn Flakes, and Cocoa puffs. The first man chose Corn Flaked, the next man chose Cocoa Puffs, and the last man chose Corn Flakes. So the moral of this story is 2 out of 3 prefer Corn Flakes over Cocoa Puffs!!!