Best Jokes

Bruno came home from school crying in hysterics. Looking at the bruises all over his face, it was apparent he got into some trouble.

"What happened to you?" his father says in a panicky manner.

"You remember the other day you told me 'Sticks and stones may break my
bones, but words will never harm me?'"

"Of course," the father replies.

"Well," Bruno says, "you were right about the sticks and stones."

Q. What would happen if you have a wooden car, with wooden wheels, a wooden chair, and a wooden engine?
A. It wooden start!

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?" 
Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more Freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die." God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left." 
God then addresses Bill Clinton: "Bill, what do you believe in?" 
Bill Clinton replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain." 
God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right." 
God then addresses Bill Gates: "Bill Gates, what do you believe in?" 
Bill Gates says, "I believe you're in my chair." 

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?" 
Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more Freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die." God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left." 
God then addresses Bill Clinton: "Bill, what do you believe in?" 
Bill Clinton replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain." 
God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right." 
God then addresses Bill Gates: "Bill Gates, what do you believe in?" 
Bill Gates says, "I believe you're in my chair."