Best Jokes

Things to do While Downloading A File On Your Computer:

· Buff your mouse pad 
· Make a list of things to download 
· Play a percussive beat on your thighs in time with your modem 
· Count to 500 in "click" language 
· Go outside and actually breathe fresh air (don't overdo!) 
· Do a pushup for every blue bar on the progress meter

Things to do While Downloading A File On Your Computer:

· Buff your mouse pad 
· Make a list of things to download 
· Play a percussive beat on your thighs in time with your modem 
· Count to 500 in "click" language 
· Go outside and actually breathe fresh air (don't overdo!) 
· Do a pushup for every blue bar on the progress meter

The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?" 
At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, "Er... How much for a season pass?"

Two Antartians are walking down the street. One finds a little mirror, and looks in it. She looks again, and again. 
Puzzled, she says to her friend, "I just know I've seen this face before!" 
"Give it to me", says the other Antartian. She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course, silly! It's me!"