Best Jokes

Two Antartians are walking down the street. One finds a little mirror, and looks in it. She looks again, and again. 
Puzzled, she says to her friend, "I just know I've seen this face before!" 
"Give it to me", says the other Antartian. She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course, silly! It's me!"

The barn at Larry and Susan's farm burned down, and Susan called the insurance company. 
Susan: "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." 
Agent: "Wait just a minute, Susan... it doesn't work quite like that. We will determine the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." 
Susan, after a pause: "I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."

Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. 
One of the three men says, "I have an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far enough for someone to hear us." 

So he leans over the basket and yells out, "Helllloooooo! Where are we?" (They hear the echo several times). 
15 minutes later, the men in the balloon hear an echoing voice: "Helllloooooo! You're lost!!" 
One of the men says, "That must be a Microsoft service tech!" 
Puzzled, one of the other men asks, "Why do you say that?" 
The man replies: "For three reasons: 
(1) he took a long time to answer, 
(2) he was absolutely correct, and 
(3) his answer was absolutely useless."

Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. 
One of the three men says, "I have an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far enough for someone to hear us." 

So he leans over the basket and yells out, "Helllloooooo! Where are we?" (They hear the echo several times). 
15 minutes later, the men in the balloon hear an echoing voice: "Helllloooooo! You're lost!!" 
One of the men says, "That must be a Microsoft service tech!" 
Puzzled, one of the other men asks, "Why do you say that?" 
The man replies: "For three reasons: 
(1) he took a long time to answer, 
(2) he was absolutely correct, and 
(3) his answer was absolutely useless."